The Life and Times of Sarah ReesToome
by worldspinsmadly
Summary: This story details the day leading up the fire at Spence and the decision Sarah made to strike a deal with a creature of the Winterlands... I DO NOT OWN A GREAT AND TERRIBLE BEAUTY NOR DO I OWN THE CHARACTERS


_**The Life and Times of Sarah Rees Toome**_

_Detaili__ng the life of Sarah on the day leading up to the fire at Spence._

**It is my joint-first fan fiction. Please review, all criticim welcome!**

'Sarah?' At the sound of my name, I curl myself up tighter and will the voice to disappear.

'Sarah? Sarah, it's Mary.'

_I know!_ I want to scream. She is the last person I want to see right now. But she persists and finds me eventually. I bury my head deeper into my arms. Still, she doesn't leave. Instead, I hear her slide to the floor beside me. She doesn't say anything. That's how she is. She knows when to speak up and when to be quiet. But after an hour of silence, after an hour of sitting on the cold tiles of the East Wing she does speak.

'Sarah, what happened?'

I raise my head. I am not sure if I want to tell her, but she is my friend, and no matter what happens, it isn't her fault.

'I-I wasn't able to get in,' I whisper. Saying it aloud makes it more real and the stabbing pain starts in my heart again.

Mary's eyes go round. 'Oh, no, Sarah.' She reaches for me awkwardly and attempts a hug. She knows how much this hurts. The realms always meant much more to me than her. Mary doesn't see the gift as a blessing; she sees it as a burden. Her visions didn't fit into the world she wants for herself. She wants to make her debut, and marry a nice man, live in the country and have lots of children. She doesn't want to be special.

For me it is different. I revel in being special, being different from the other girls, whose idea of interesting conversation is the latest scandal or who the best seamstress is to make their gown. I don't want the husband, or the big house or the children. I want the realms. I want everything in the realms, and eventually, I plan to stay in the realms, to taste the berries upon my tongue and to at last truly belong to the world I love so much.

And now it was being taken from me.

'Can you still get in, Mary?'

Mary looks uncomfortable. 'Yes,' she mumbles, hoping I won't hear her answer. But I do. Anger flares in me. Mary can still enter the realms, she can still bask in the glory of it, yet I, _I,_ the one who truly loves it, cannot.

I stand up suddenly. A thought has entered my head. 'Mary, it cannot be true. There must be something intentionally blocking my passage.' I look at her. She looks skeptical. 'Mary, I have had unwavering loyalty and faithfulness to the Order! There is no reason for them not to choose me!' Her expression does not change and it makes my anger grow. I stomp away and she follows, trying to get my attention. 'Sarah, wait!' But I am faster than her and am at the bottom of the stairs before she catches up.

'Sarah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You are right. I'm sure it's just a small slip-up. Maybe if you try again?'

'No,' I shake my head. 'It will not work. I don't want to be disappointed. I'm going to Eugenia.'

Mary nods solemnly. She will follow me now and will not risk my anger again by doubting me. I descend the second flight of stairs and knock past Brigid as she goes in the opposite direction, her hands full of bed linens.

'Ladies! Ladies! You nearly knocked me!' She squints at us. 'Shouldn't you be in class?'

'You might have a care, Brigid,' I respond coolly. '_You_ almost knocked _us_.' I do not like servant. She is meddlesome and intrusive. She reports to Mrs. Spence every offence. I brush past her and continue on my way. I see Mary throw her an apologetic smile. That is Mary's fault: she is much too kind.

I don't stop when I reach Mrs. Spence's office door. I march through and Mary follows reluctantly. Mrs. Spence looks up from her writing surprised. When she sees Mary and I standing over her, her expression changes to add a touch of anger.

'Miss Rees-Toome, Miss Dowd, what is this?'

'I can't get in!' I glare at her. There was a time when Eugenia intimidated and terrified me, when I first came to Spence as a young girl. But for a year now, I've been a novice of the Order, and we've shared so many magical experiences it is impossible not to see her differently. She, however, has remained stubbornly formal.

'Miss Rees-Toome, I would thank you not to storm my office with nonsense talk when you should be in class. You are getting much to bold.'

'Eugenia, I can't get into the realms!' I bang my fist against her desk and flinch as splinters pierce my skin.

This makes her stand, eyes blazing. 'Sarah, I'll thank you not to break up my office.' Mary shrinks back against the wall. Eugenia can be fearsome. Humbled, I apologise.

Eugenia nods curtly and I sit on the chair opposite her. 'Now, then,' she says, 'you may tell me what happened.'

I sit up straighter and recount the details of earlier that afternoon. 'The door would not appear. I tried for hours, but I couldn't get in.' I pause. 'Eugenia, what is happening?'

Eugenia's face adopts a serious expression. She removes her glasses before speaking. 'I'm sorry, Sarah. It seems the realms have not chosen you.' She looks at me sadly.

'What?' I frown at her. 'Why would they not have chosen me? I did nothing wrong!'

'That is how the realms work, Sarah, nothing is certain,' Eugenia spies Mary in the corner. 'What of you, Mary, can you still enter?'

Mary nods and anger and jealously consumes me. '_Her?_ They've chosen _her?_' I gesture wildly towards Mary, sparks flying. 'I have offered them more than _her!_ I appreciate them more than she does!' I slump down on the chair, all reason forgotten. 'I deserve this.'

'It is the will of the realms, Sarah.'

I look at Eugenia, a woman who has had access to the realm for more than fifty years. A woman I envy. Tears well in my eyes and I push past Mary out of the room. Taking the stairs two at a time, I reach my room and bolt the door.

'Miss?'

Spinning around, I see Brigid staring at the tears streaking down my cheeks. She stands beside my half-made bed. I unbolt the door and hold it open. 'Get out,' I spit. She doesn't question me; she abandons her duty and passes out of my room into the hallway.

'Sarah?' I look up. Mary has followed me. I turn away from her. 'Sarah, I could take you.'

I turn slowly. 'What?'

Mary closes the door and takes my hand. 'I can take you into the realms, Sarah,' she smiles, pleased that she can help me.

I gasp. An idea has floated into my mind. I do not like to rely on others, but if Mary gets me into the realms I have a plan which I can carry out and no longer depend on her or the Order.

'Do it,' I say eagerly, grasping her hand. 'Do it now.'

She nods solemnly and closes her eyes. I feel her concentration radiating from her in waves. The door of light appears and once again, I feel the sour pang of loss. We step through the door into the garden. I do not have time today to bask in the exquisite sight. I must set my plan in motion. I turn to Mary.

'I'm going for a walk. I'll return in some hours. You should stay here.'

She looks at me in alarm. 'Sarah, what--?'

'Mary,' I place a finger on her lips. 'The realms are my world, they're everything to me. I will not lose them.' She looks confused but nods. I nod back and walk away from her, careful that she is not following me.

When I am a safe distance from the garden, I break into a run. In almost no time, I reach the Borderlands and finally the gate. The bone gate with the pulsing heart. Beyond it lies the vast wasteland named the Winterlands.

I have never before entered, and as I stand before it my heart beats so hard it threatens to break through my ribs and out of my skin. But I must go on. There are things in the Winterlands, creatures, who can bestow you with such power it makes what the Order has look like magician's magic. If the Order will not bless me with their magic, perhaps these creatures will.

I step forward and a voice booms out: 'What is your greatest desire?'

This is no time for a weak will. I force my voice to come out strong. 'Power.'

'And your greatest fear?'

'That I will lose my power and my magic.'

My answers are apparently satisfactory, as the gate swings open. Boldly, I enter the Winterlands.

_**Into the Winterlands**_

After walking several miles with no sights except the desolate desert land every side of me, my hope begins to ebb away. I have met nothing, no animal and no people, certainly nothing that will help me achieve my goal.

I continue my walking until a large stone, huge, and round, comes into my sight. Walking towards it, I have no expectations, I hope for just a little shelter in its shadows from the burning heat. But as I approach, the shadow of the stone rises, moving, gliding. It is black as pitch and there is something about it that makes me uncomfortable. At last.

I quake as I move closer to the shadow. A low cackle emits from it, and a whisper reaches my ears. A voice speaks, yet it isn't a voice. It is certainly spoken by no human.

_At last. She comes. She comes. A feast._

I stand before the stone. I want desperately than to turn and run, but I want the magic more than anything and I am willing to risk my life and eternal damnation to get it.

_She comes…_

I gulp. 'I...I-I wish you no h-harm,' I gasp, terror clutching at my throat.

The cackle comes again.

'I w-wish for p-p-power,' I will my voice to steady.

_Power_, the creature hisses.

I nod, standing ramrod straight, hoping my wish will be granted.

_I can grant you power, young one, but what will you grant me?_ That terrible voice reaches my ears again.

'What do you desire?' I say, without the least bit if a wobble.

_I desire flesh. I desire blood…fresh blood…I desire a sacrifice._

The stories have not lied to me. I was expecting this. 'If I get you a sacrifice, will you give me the power?'

_I can grant you power…but first, a sacrifice…_, the voice hisses again.

'I can arrange a sacrifice.'

_Then I can arrange your power…a sacrifice…young blood…_

'Where?' I croak. 'Where can I host the sacrifice? Where can you bestow me?'

_You are of the school run by the High Priestess, yessss? _

'Yes.'

_There. Where the veil between worlds is thin._'

I have heard Eugenia talking with some of the other Sisters about a thin veil existing in the East Wing of the school. It is my favourite place in Spence. Because of the thin veil, it is where the magic can be worked best.

'When?'

_A ssssacrifice…tonight…fresh blood…_

'And you will give me the power _tonight_.' I want no loopholes in the bargain.

_Yessss_

I nod. I do not thank the creature, for we both know I am not thankful, and I back away slowly, unwilling to take my eyes away from it. Do not trust anything in the Winterlands. Do not bargain with anything in the Winterlands. Oh, but I must.

I must.

_**Out of the**__** Winterlands**_

It is not until I exit the gate into the safety of the Borderlands do I turn my back. It has been several hours since I left Mary in the garden and when I return, she is sitting cross-legged on a patch of sand she conjured, scraping designs into it. She looks up at me when she hears my approach. Her expression is grave.

'Did you attend to your business?'

'Yes, thank you,' I reply. I do not want to discuss this with her.

'You were gone a long time.'

'I had a lot of business to attend to.'

'Sarah,' I look up to meet her unsmiling eyes. 'I know where you were.'

I do not answer.

'And I know what you did. I know your "business".'

'You wouldn't understand, Mary, you have the power. You've been chosen.' I spit the worlds out bitterly.

'Sarah,' she leans in close to me. 'Did you bargain with it? Did you offer it a sacrifice?'

I meet her look with a sombre one of my own. 'That's what it desires, Mary.'

I hear her sharp intake of breath. Her eyes flash. 'That was stupid.'

'I knew you wouldn't understand!' I pull grass up from the garden and shred it onto my lap, desperate to make her see. 'I've been abandoned, Mary. I've been abandoned by the only thing I truly care about. I _need_ the realms. I don't just come here because it's pretty, or to pass time, I _need_ them.' I look up at her, frantic, hoping she will understand. She pierces me with her solemn green eyes until I am forced to look away. I don't look at her again until I hear a shuffling. I look up to see her half way across the garden, summoning the door. I go to her and take her hand, and the door of light appears and we pass through it. When we get to the other side, Mary drops my hand and walks away.

_**Sacrifice**_

I sit on the cold stone bench outside the chapel. Oh the irony. A chapel is made for prayer, a place of salvation, and I sit outside it contemplating murder, searching for my victim. I can hear the gypsies in the wood. I can hear the children playing hide and seek and see their shadows flit past. One of them ventures out of the wood, looking for a place to hide. She is wearing a colourful dress, and her dark hair is braided into two plaits either side of her face. She clutches a small doll.

_Fresh blood…_

Without thinking, I call out to the girl. I pat the bench beside me and warily, she toddles over, clutching her doll so tight, she impales it with her fingernails. She sits down beside me on the bench.

'What's your name?' I ask her kindly. Although I have no patience for either gypsies or children, I can afford to be kind to her, at least in the last hours of her life.

'Carolina.' She gazes up at me with bright brown eyes. 'What is yours?'

'My name is Sarah.' I reach for her doll, but she refuses to relinquish the toy. 'Can't I look at it?'

'It's my dolly.'

'I know. It's a very pretty dolly. Oh dear, is it ripped?' The doll's head hangs off, held to the body by just a few threads.

Carolina shrugs. 'It's an old dolly. Older than me.'

'And how old are you?'

'Six.'

'Six. That's quite an age.' I'm humouring her, but my time is running out. 'Would you like me too fix your dolly? My friend is a fine sewer, and if you come to the school tonight, I could give her back too you and she'd be brand new.'

Carolina considers my offer seriously. 'You'd give her back to me?'

'Of course. She's your dolly.'

The young girl nods. She releases the doll from her fist and hands it to me. 'Thank you. Tell your friend thank you.'

'I will.' I smile at her. 'Don't forget, you must pick your dolly up tonight.'

'I won't.' The young girl jumps down off the bench and, with a quick wave, she runs back into the woods.

I sigh. I have my sacrifice. Standing up, I make my way back to the school, but near the doors I stop. Mary is standing there, staring at me.

'It's necessity, Mary.'

'Sarah, it's murder.'

'You can say that. You have access.'

'She is a young girl. You promised you would fix her dolly. Are you so far gone that you can't see how twisted this is?'

I smile slightly. 'It's not the ideal situation, I agree, and of course I feel bad, but—'

'Yes, nothing is more important to you than the realms,' Mary interrupts me bitterly.

'Mary, are you jealous?' I reply playfully. 'Why, you know I love you too.'

'Don't, Sarah, don't try to make this a game. I should tell Eugenia. This is murder.'

I turn to face her, but a noise in the hallway distracts me. Brigid is there, frozen against the wall. The sight of her irritates me. Servants should have more to do then listen in on conversations. I want to scare her.

I grab her throat and pin her to the wall. 'Brigid listen to me. Do you know what this is?' I wave Carolina's doll in front of her. She splutters. 'This is a voodoo doll, Brigid, and if I ever catch you listening at doors again, or if you report any of this to Mrs. Spence, I will hurt you, Brigid.' She gasps for air and I release her throat. 'Are we clear?'

'Y-y-yes, Miss Sarah,' she wheezes, clutching her throat and stumbling away from me down the corridor. This has empowered me. I look towards Mary, who stares at me as though I am a stranger.

'Mary, I cannot do this alone, will you help me?'

I gaze at her until she nods slightly in agreement, her face twisted into an expression of fright.

'Carolina should be here soon.' I stand at the window of a room in the East Wing. I gaze out at the blackness of the night, on watch for the approach of the young girl. Mary is behind me, striding back and forth across the room, wringing her hands.

'This is wrong.'

'It is what is required,' I respond calmly, not turning to face her. She has been pacing nervously for hours now, occasionally bursting forth with a weak argument. 'Would you have me without the power?'

'You would _kill_ a little girl for _power_?' Mary asks, not for the first time.

I ignore this question and turn to her with a smile on my face. 'Carolina has just come out of the wood. Go downstairs to meet her before she knocks and wakes up Brigid.'

Mary casts me a frantic glance. She does not want to do this but I have instilled a fear in her and so she obliges. I wait impatiently for her to return with my sacrifice. Not long now before my power is returned to me.

Mary enters the room again, accompanied by the little gypsy girl, who looks around, nervously clutching her skirt. She seems me and smiles slightly. 'Did you fix my dolly?'

'Yes, Carolina, I fixed it. Come here, and take it back.' I hold out the doll for the girl and when she approaches me I grab her and hold her too me. She cries out but I clamp my hand over her mouth. 'Now, Carolina,' I say to her. 'You'll have to be a good girl, and do as I say, otherwise I will hurt you, okay?' She struggles against me and I throw her to Mary. As Mary tries to sooth the girl, I throw my arms up into the air, in the direction of the sky, and call the creature of the Winterlands to me. Carolina's screams fill my ears, breaking my concentration.

'See to the girl, Mary,' I snap, giving the gypsy a short slap across her brown cheek.

Mary looks at me desperately and takes Carolina's face in her hands. 'I'm sorry,' she sobs, kissing the tears from the girl's cheeks. She places her palm over the girl's lips and nose and I watch as Carolina struggles against her. Once again, I call to the creature.

_Sacrifice…_

Suddenly, the shadow is there, skulking in the corners of the room.

'I have your sacrifice,' I call out, pointing. Mary lies on the floor sobbing beside the still body of Carolina.

_Yessss…my sacrifice…yessss…_

'Do you remember the bargain? Will you grant me power?'

_Yessss_

'Sarah?' It is a new voice. I twirl around, searching for the person who goes with it.

'Sarah? Mary?' The voice comes closer.

I look down at Mary, who remains hunched on the floor. Her tears have subsided and she looks in the direction of the voice in hope.

'Mary, did you tell?' I whisper, feeling betrayed.

'It was wrong, Sarah,' she pleads. 'It was murder.'

Rage consumes me. 'You bitch!' I shout, slapping her hard so that she falls back on the floor. Her hand flies out and knocks a candle lying on the floor. It instantly flames the curtain.

'Sarah.' Eugenia enters the room, candle in hand, fully dressed. Her eyes widen at the sight of the burning curtain, Mary sprawled against the floor, and Carolina lying beside her, her eyes closed and her chest still. Her eyes travel behind me to the dark shadow, and she gasps. 'Sarah!' As she runs forward, the shadow rises, threatening to consume us. The flames from the curtain spread, igniting a wooden desk, blocking the exit. The creature wails and darkness descends on the room, despite the blazing fire.

_Priestessss…_

'Sarah, get back!' Eugenia screams, pushing me behind her as she turns to face the creature. I stumble backwards and fall over Mary. I can hear knocking on the door of the East Wing and I can hear people fumbling with the lock, trying to knock the door down. Eugenia holds up one arm, locking the door tightly with her magic, to keep anyone else from witnessing this horror. The Winterlands creature hisses and spits at her, and she sends magic in its direction, trying to ward of the spread of shadow throughout the room. But the creature has magic of its own and sends it towards Eugenia. The force of it causes her to stumble backwards and a terrible wind whips through the room, encouraging the fire, causing it to spread its destruction.

'Sarah, Mary, leave!' Eugenia shrieks, as she attempts to remain standing in an effort to defeat the creature.

Without waiting, I grab Mary and pull her towards the door. The fire is blocking our way; we must attempt to run through it. Mary howls and resists me as I try to pull her with me. She reaches back for the body of Carolina, meaning to take it with her.

'No, Mary, there isn't time,' I shout, battling with her to loosen her grip on the girl. 'She's dead, Mary! She's gone! Come on.' Mary slaps my hands off her and collapses on the floor, overcome with grief and hopelessness. Eugenia is still locked in a fierce battle with the beast I summoned. As her neck snaps to one side in response to a blow given by the creature, a necklace flies through the air and lands on Mary's lap. It is the crescent eye necklace Eugenia wears as a symbol that she belongs to the Order. I tie it around Mary's neck, hoping it will give her strength. I reach under her arms and drag through the wall of fire, gasping for clean air. The fire catches to out clothes, but I douse it quickly and neither of us are seriously burnt. As I enter the corridor, I see the door pulsing as students and staff of the school bang against it fruitlessly, in a hopeless bid to help the students and teacher trapped inside. The corridor fills with smoke, and I cough, choking. Mary's eyes droop and I fear she is dying. Hurriedly, I smash a window and look down at the ground. It is quite a drop, one we are not likely to survive in our weakened state. I can hear the battle that continues in the next room. I can hear Eugenia's screams and the creature's howls. There is no time to pause. It seems Eugenia is losing her fight, and I do not want to be here with such a creature and no protection. Grasping Mary with one hand, while thanking the gods for making young woman so conscience of their weight, for Mary weighs next to nothing, I swing myself out onto the gargoyle that is perched on the sill. I slowly climb down it until the drop to the ground is significantly less. Praying, I let go of the gargoyle and drop. I land with a thud on the gravel below, banging my head hard, and Mary lands on top of me. She coughs and pants, opening her eyes. Relief that she is not dead sweeps through me. It takes her a minute to take in what has happened, and when she does, she stands over me and pulls me to my feet. Without warning, her hand snaps out and she hits me so hard I feel my tooth loosen.

'You stupid, selfish girl,' she says quietly.

'Mary, I—'

'Shut _up_, Sarah!' she shouts. 'Do you see that?' She gestures wildly towards the burning East Wing. 'You did that! You did that, Sarah. You wanted power, and you did that!'

'I didn't mean too.'

'_You killed Eugenia!_' She looks ready to slap me again. She turns away and her shoulders rise and fall as she tries to contain her tears. 'You killed her, Sarah. She's dead.'

My throat tightens. I don't say anything. Mary turns back to me, her eyes blazing. She steps forward, forcing me to step back.

'I'm done. That's it.' She looks so malevolent as she moves towards me. I have never seen her like this before. Her eyes shine. 'I'm going, Sarah. I'm done with you. It's finished.'

'Mary, d—'

'No. I'm done.' She takes one last step towards me and stares at me hard before whirling past. I watch her as she runs into the woods; the light of the fire illuminates her until she descends far into the shadows of the trees.

With no one to see me, I allow my tears to escape and descend down my cheeks, splashing to the ground. I look up at the burning East Wing. Tonight four people have died. The innocent little gypsy girl, Carolina, the respected and kindly headmistress Eugenia Spence…

And Mary Dowd and Sarah Rees-Toome. Their bodies are not burning in the school, but they are dead nonetheless.

**Please review with any feedback**


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